Are You a Virgin?
by clockmakersassistant
Summary: Is Gil a virgin? Read to find out. Rated T for suggestive language.
1. Are you a Virgin

**Disclaimer: **I don not own Pandora Hearts or any of he characters.

**Warning:** Mentions of boyXboy but not actual boyXboy

Are You a Virgin?  
It was a very slow and boring day and everyone, minus Gilbert, was sitting in the living room.  
Oz: I'm bored.  
Break: We know.  
Oz: When's Gil going to be done with his paperwork?  
Sharon: I don't know. Why don't you play with Alice?  
Oz: I have a question for him.  
Gilbert walks in with a pile of paperwork.  
Gilbert: Is there any other paperwork I need to do? Maybe file something dumber than the insurance you put on your doll?  
Oz: Gil! You're finally done! I have a very important question for you.  
Gilbert: What?  
Oz: Are you a virgin?  
Gilbert drops his papers, Break snaps his lollipop into pieces, and Sharon spits out her tea.  
Alice: What's a virgin?  
Oz: Someone who's never had sex.  
Gilbert: *Panic* I should pick these papers up and take them back. I need to put them back in order. They're messed up since I dropped them.  
Gilbert frantically picks up his papers.  
Alice: Seaweed head must be a virgin.  
Gilbert: I'm not a virgin.  
Sharon: Since when?  
Gilbert: Age sixteen.  
Oz: Wow. Who was it?  
Gilbert: *Twitch* You don't need to know.  
Oz: Then I'll have to guess. Sharon?  
Gilbert: No.  
Oz: Any of your siblings?  
Gilbert: Disgusting. No.  
Oz: Uncle Oscar?  
Gilbert: No.  
Oz: *Evil voice* Was it Ada?  
Gilbert: No. I swear it wasn't Ada.  
Oz: Good.  
Oz rattles off names for another ten minutes until he gets to...  
Oz: Break?  
Gilbert: *Suppressing blush* No.  
Oz: It was totally Break.  
Gilbert: Do you honestly think Break would do that?  
Oz looks at Break who was shoving candy in his mouth faster than usual.  
Oz: Yes.  
Gilbert: It wasn't Break.  
Oz: It so was.  
Gilbert: Just keep guessing.  
Oz: Just admit it was Break.  
Gilbert glances at Break who sighed and nodded his head.  
Gilbert: It... was... Break.  
Gilbert turns bright red and Break covers his face.  
Oz: *Laughing* I can't believe it. What made you two do that?  
Gilbert turns and runs. Break jumps into a closet and disappears.  
Sharon: I guess we'll find out another day.  
FIN


	2. Are you a Virgin Prequel

Prequel to: Are you a virgin?

Break: Hello, Gilbert.

Gilbert: Get away from me.

Break: But you need to practice using a sword. You can't rely on a gun for everything.

Gilbert: I don't feel like practicing today.

Break: You've been saying that the past week. I'm not letting you off so easily this time.

Gilbert grabs a gun and puts it to Break's head.

Gilbert: Will you let me off now?

Break grabs the gun, throws it, and flips Gilbert onto the ground.

Break: No. You need to work on your strength, reflexes, and intelligence.

Gilbert: Why my intelligence?

Break: If you were smart, you wouldn't have put your gun right to my head. You would've put it out of my reach.

Gilbert: I don't care.

Break: Since we're already outside, let's get to practicing.

Gilbert: I'd rather not.

Gilbert dives for his gun, but Break trips him with his cane. Gilbert rolls and grabs his gun.

Break: You should've waited until I gave you a sword.

Gilbert: I can beat you with my guns.

Gilbert shoots and Break cuts the bullet in half with his sword.

Gilbert: How the hell did you do that?

Break: If you practiced, you would know.

Gilbert: I'll start practicing. Next week.

Break: You will start practicing now.

Break moved his sword to hit Gilbert, but Gilbert blocked it with his gun.

Break: Your gun won't protect you forever.

Gilbert: I don't need it forever. I only need it until I get you away.

Break: That will be forever.

Gilbert uses his position from the ground and kicks Break down. He pushes him down and holds the gun in Break's face. Break smashes Gilbert in the forehead and throws him back.

Gilbert: Ow. I'll make you pay for that.

Gilbert jumps up and starts shooting. Break hits every bullet with his sword.

Gilbert: Damn it. I'm out of bullets.

Break: That's exactly why you should've waited for your sword.

Gilbert: Shut up.

Break: Don't be a sore loser.

Break slams his sword down, but Gilbert blocks it with his gun again. He does this every time Break attacks.

Break: Your gun is going to wear out.

Gilbert: Not before your sword snaps in half.

Break: It won't snap in half if you don't have your gun.

Break smacks the gun out of Gilbert's hand and it goes flying. When Gilbert dives for it, Break pins him down.

Gilbert: Get off me.

Gilbert starts kicking and squirming.

Break: You can put up more of a fight than this.

Gilbert: I can't. You have every part of me pinned down.

Break: I'm sure you can find something to do.

Gilbert flips Break over and pins him down.

Gilbert: *Panting* I'm done with this.

Break: You aren't.

Break flips Gilbert over his head and slams him on the ground.

Gilbert: Ow.

Break tosses Gilbert his gun.

Break: Do you think you can still fight with that?

Gilbert: I know I can.

Gilbert tries getting up, but Break repins him down.

Break: Not like that.

Gilbert beats Break on the head with his gun.

Break: Ow. Damn you.

Gilbert: Now get off me.

Break: Make me get off.

Gilbert tries everything he could to get Break off. Nothing worked.

Gilbert: I give up.

Break: I'm not letting you off that easily.

Gilbert: Fine. I'll show you why I didn't want to practice.

Gilbert lifts his pelvis and rubs himself against Break.

Break: That's an interesting reason for not wanting to fight. Do I always do this to you?

Gilbert: *Pink* No.

Break: Do you want me to take care of it for you?

Gilbert: What?

Break: It's a simple question.

Gilbert: I… yes.

Break: Good answer.

FIN


End file.
